Banished from the Light
by Sea Chelle
Summary: "...was once a man the wolf finds himself thirsty for mortality but finds himself unable to grasp it with hands-only with claws. And thus he wishes only to curse others with the evil spell cast upon him..." This is Remus' story from the fateful day he is


**(Author's Note: hi! This is a new story, hopefully you'll like it! If you'd like to be notified when new chapters have been posted, leave me your email address in a review or email me at Crunkygurljrt@hotmail.com telling me you'd like to join my mailing group. Thanks!)**

**Banished from the Light**

_Chapter 1 – Man on the Moon_

~*~

When the crimson star falls

And the night begins to win

When the light starts to fade

And hope runs thin

When the stars lose their valor

And the clouds turn to mist

When you begin to fade

And their hands begin to fist

When the battle comes to close

And your heartbeats start to cease

When you life begins to fade

And you turn into a beast.

A blanket of darkness falls

You're exhausted with defeat

Your hope starts to fade

And it's Death's turn to cheat

Life laughs, her joke's complete.

You're the result of a lost fight

A monstrosity – a beast…and you're

Banished from the light.

_ **~ Banished from the Light**_

…

**Prologue**

_There was a rustle in the brush to his right. The night was pitch black and the moon was big and round above – and Remus was rather frightened…only a bit really. He wasn't supposed to go outside at this hour, but he'd had a nightmare and he wanted a bit of fresh air. It wasn't unusual for him to sneak out of the window and climb down the large oak just a tad away from the roof. _

_Today, however, was different._

_Something was making the hairs on the nape of his neck stand and send shivers down his spine. He peered around in the darkness with wide hazel eyes sprinkled with amber. Quickly, he walked on towards the precipice. He strolled past the brambles and the thick branches that reached out to strike him. He strode amidst the eyes of dark creatures watching him with predatory gazes and ravenous appetites. He treaded forward ahead of the colossal trees looming over him, haunting him, taunting him mercilessly. Remus didn't mind them – they all liked to play their tricks. It was only at night that they were shadowed, but at day, they were kind creatures at heart. He knew that they couldn't help being how they were._

_There were just some things in the ominous night that turned living creatures dark._

_He finally arrived at his destination and sank upon the luscious dew filled grass with a small sigh. At five years of age, he was a healthy and average child with a smile always at the ready. In the Academy for Boys, he was fourth in his class and was one of those charismatic children that others seem compelled to meet. His eyes danced with an inner joy that radiated off him in waves and his smile was always bright and friendly. Doran Lupin was a proud man indeed owing to the fact that he was the father to two sons of whom were of the kind that every father wished to have. The man was a widower and lived solely because of the fact that his love for his children was never-ending. _

_As five year old Remus Lupin gazed contentedly at the crimson sun, he let loose one of those wonderful carefree smiles of innocent young children with a grace that only angels possessed. He lowered himself onto his back and rested his head on top of his hands. The smile played on his lips merrily and his eyes watched the journey that the daystar made between the horizon and the __midnight__ sky above. Clouds obstructed the view of the winking stars above and he sighed._

_There was a deep growl nearby and Remus slowly sat up, looking around. Perhaps it's just a stray dog,__ thought the boy to himself, shaking his head. He turned his gaze once more towards the sky to see the clouds dispersing into a mist of gray and crème. Another deep throated rumbling growl made him jump up instantly and his eyes widened slightly as he looked around._

_His father had told him in one of their random scary story nights around the fire of dark creatures that preyed on unwary travelers. One had been about a vampire whose eyes glowed purple before turning crimson red with bloodlust. Remus looked up at the sky to see a falling star and stepped back. The crimson dot sped hastily downwards before disappearing slightly away with a flash of a dazzling red color. The child gulped and took another step back._

_Another story had been about a mummy – one of those that left __Egypt__ after being created because of an evil spirit residing within its empty insides. The most recent story was on the subject of werewolves. _

_"Now these…these creatures," Doran had said in the sepulchral tone of voice reserved for these tales by the fire, "live only to curse others." _

_"But why, Papa?" Emery had wondered. At the time, Remus' brother had been eleven while Remus himself had only been three years of age, trying to grasp hold of each word his father spoke._

_"Created by another's evil intent, they hunt for unsuspecting prey…driven on only for the enchanting taste of fear and their hatred of man. Once a man, the wolf finds himself thirsty for mortality, but finds himself unable to grasp it with hands…only with claws. And thus he wishes only to curse others with the evil spell cast upon him." Seated on his father's lap, Remus had hidden his face within the purple nightshirt the elder man had been wearing. _

_Today, he could remember that night – he remembered all those nights. For some reason, the horrifying and frightening tales of dark creatures fascinated little Remus. The tingling sensation that rippled down his spine made him giggle with fright and excitement all at once. How **interesting** these scary creatures were! How positively intriguing! However marveling the creatures were, however, the thing that held the boy back from further investigation was his fear. Always – always and forever that fear was there…lingering in the back of his mind, at the bottom of his soul, hidden in his heart…it was always there. _

One day, _thought Remus with a brave countenance upon his face, one day I won't be so afraid. And I'll beat all of 'em! __"You just see!" he exclaimed aloud and was immediately humbled. He looked around hesitantly and saw nothing, but there was another growl. His eyes darted on the ground and he saw a small stick nearby. A sword!_ thought the boy with a triumphant grin. He picked it up and waved it towards the rustling brush nearby. "I can kill you, you evil monster! I will slay you with my magic sword!!" said young Remus with the unerring confidence that boys have at that age. And then he laughed and shook his head. _I'm so silly, magic isn't real._

_He turned to look back at the sun that rose upon the right, an aura of red and orange surrounding its golden hue. It didn't quite seem to be rising so much as falling and he felt his heart skip a beat. The hairs on the back of his neck were risen again and a shiver ran down his spine. He looked back towards the forest so dark at night and bit down at his lip. Perhaps it was time to go home…_

_And then out of the brush leapt a creature too huge to be a dog. Remus' eyes widened and the forced laugh of courage that had begun to build within him died upon his lips. He was knocked unmercifully upon the ground with a force that drove his breath from him. As he stared in horror into the tawny eyes glittering with malevolence, he found himself at a loss of what to do. _

_Tears welled within his eyes and he had never wanted the comfort of his bouncy mattress and silky soft covers in his entire five years. When the jaws of the large dog opened and the hideously sharp and jagged fangs of the creature came into view, little Remus did the only thing that any boy of his age would have done – he screamed. The monster growled and nudged the boy's head with its muzzle and the boy cut his shout off quickly. The big dog was sniffing him and nibbling on the cloth of his footsie pajamas. Remus' breathing was coming out in gasps and his tears were slipping down his cheeks to his ears. He tried prying the dog's paws off his chest, but it was to no avail. When it's eyes glowed so maliciously down at him, Remus screamed as a searing pain burned upon his shoulder. _

Created by another's evil intent…

_His cry pierced the night as the crimson daystar slowly made its trek towards the heavens. Footsteps breaking branches were heard as Remus struggled vainly against the weight of the monster whose jaws were fastened to his shoulder. He beat on the creature's muzzle and cried as the pain scorched under his skin and even deeper. It felt as if he was being burned alive and he didn't even notice when the great weight of the evil dog was pulled off him. He didn't even hear the loud gunshots ringing in the night air, lingering for longer than they should. He didn't see his father's eyes looking down at him with wild anger at the monster and intense fear and unbearable concern for his son. Remus couldn't feel the loving embrace of his father's arms encircling his tiny trembling body as he shook with the raw agony of the vicious poison burned its way throughout his body. His screams of pain were silent to the rest of the world as his throat became sore from such soulful cries. _

And thus he wishes only to curse others with the evil spell cast upon him…

_He writhed in utter torture on the way back to the home while Doran cried forlornly, holding his son in a tight hug he wished so desperately would ease the pain the child so clearly felt. The door burst open as the duo approached their home and Emery watched wide eyed as his father carried his younger brother inside. The thirteen year old boy felt tears prickle the backs of his eyes when his father told him to call the hospital, but he obeyed as quickly as his legs would carry him to the telephone. _

_It was then that the front door blasted open and strange men with wooden sticks surged into the Lupin home. The first was a man whose face was worn from experiences too dark for normal human minds to grasp. His eyes burned with sorrow sympathetic to all and familiar with every painful moment the family seemed to be enduring. _

_Emery dropped the phone and stumbled backwards against the wall as the men in strange black clothes strode past him. The last one looked at him with a curt nod before following the others. With wide eyes and weak legs, the boy rushed after them into the living room where Doran nursed his son with blistering hot tears leaving tickling trails upon his cheeks. He rushed into the room to see three fourths of the men dispatch from the group to race outside. The others stood before his father, blocking his view._

_Upon their arrival into the room, Doran looked up with unseeing eyes as the first man began to speak. After a minute of silence subsequently, he looked back down to his son, not comprehending a word spoken. That was when the man knelt down to look at Doran Lupin with eyes so dark a blue they seemed black. _

_"Sir, your son will be fine," said the man in his most soothing voice. "Werewolf attacks have been frequent in this town lately, but your son will be fine." _

_Doran looked up at him now, the cloud of confusion in his eyes slowly dispersing. "Fine?" he whispered brokenly. _

_"My name is Ian McLowe, sir," said the man, patting his shoulder in a would be soothing manner had he been a softer sort of person. But he was not – he was an officer for the ministry and though he was a compassionate man, he was still required to do his duty. "Your son needs to be taken in for treatment," he told Doran with the carefully controlled voice so practiced after so many years. "He will be – taken care of there." After a moment of thick silence, Ian said, "Sir, what is your name?" _

_"Lupin – Doran Lupin," was the almost inaudible reply. _

_Ian nodded to a wizard behind him and the man jotted down the name on a piece of parchment. "All right, Mr. Lupin, we must go now if you wish for your son to be treated. After treatment,  your son will be – all right." Doran stood up shakily, still holding Remus. The boy's consciousness had long ago faded from the intense pain and at that moment, Doran thought of nothing other than his safety. This man said that his son would be find and right now, that was all that mattered. If anything was wrong with this situation, he would think of that later. Now, all he could think about was taking his son's pain away. _

_As he walked with the strange men, he felt a tug upon his sleeve. "Papa, where are you going?" wondered Emery with tear filled eyes. _

_Doran looked at Ian who said to the boy in a heavy tone, "You may come too, young man. You may as well." _

_And Emery was left to chew on these words all the way to St. Mungo's._

_…_

**Chapter 1 – Man on the Moon**

Remus sighed and rubbed his eyes. Tonight was much the same as that fateful night so long ago, but today, the stars were shining brilliantly against the ink black blanket that was the night. There were bags under his eyes as he surveyed the night sky. It was only two days at this hour after the full moon and he still felt its effects. He had turned eleven, ironically, on that night and had cried something awful. His father had sat there the whole time, his eyes never leaving his son's and Remus felt guilt stab so painfully at his heart.

Emery had sent a note earlier that weak in apology – he wouldn't be able to come this time. Remus had understood. The family's wealth had dwindled and the night that damned curse had been cast upon him had set it on its downfall. Their savings had had to spent on various treatments that would supposedly alleviate some of the pain of the transformation Remus was burdened to endure every month for the rest of his life. Before that, money had been burned with the effort to find someone with a cure. 

Being a muggle family and not knowing whom to trust and whom to go to in the wizarding world had been a problem that had put a deep dent in their bank account. With an advertisement saying only that a cure for lycanthropy was being sought for an amount sent many a wizard and witch hurrying forth to own up. Each response proved worthless and the advertisement was soon withdrawn. It was soon apparent that no cure could be found for lycanthropy, and Remus was to bear his burden at full force upon ever full moon.

The boy's life had faded away to a shadow of the one he had had before. The day he was bitten, he had been one of the first registered werewolves in suburban London. It turned out that an outbreak of werewolf bites had plagued the city and Remus was just another number needed to be added onto a list. A law had been passed that every werewolf from then forth would need to be registered – for the public's safety. As a muggle family, they were filled in on the magic world and what exactly Remus would have to deal with for the remainder of his life.

Upon hearing that there was no cure for his son's curse, Doran had shaken his head in denial. His advertisements had been scoffed at and turned away in disgust despite the fact that many had risen to offer the brainless muggle 'cures'. After the thirty first 'cure', Doran had given up and delved to find one on his own. If a wizard's magic wouldn't do, then a muggle's would have to – the man often said. He never hated the magic world because of what happened to his son. Only the individuals who were prejudiced against werewolves. Yes, he hated the ministry for tormenting a boy because of his infliction and making him undergo innumerable amounts of stress with every test, registry, and check up. 

The first few moons were surveyed by ministry officials who were sent to make sure that Remus was perfectly secured when he transformed. Rooms were not acceptable and thus a cage was built in the basement. 

Remus could still remember his first day in there. He himself had cried at the age of five as he was locked up in that god-forsaken little cell in their basement. Doran and Emery couldn't stand to do it so one of the ministry officials had had to. Remus remembered pleading and begging to the man but the official was used to such requests and merely blinded himself to the fact that a little boy was being locked away to endure a torture that no grown man could he himself tolerate. That had been the worse full moon of them all. Emery had run out of the room in terror and anguish and Doran would have done the same had he not felt the pain of guilt stinging at his heart. 

"Remus?" called a voice nearby. The boy turned his head and saw his father's form emerging from the forest behind. Doran smiled gently at his son and walked over, plopping himself down upon the grass beside him. "Thought you were only going to stay out here for 'a bit'?" he said with a grin. 

The boy looked up at his father with a small smiles and Doran relished it with a heavy heart. Smiles from the child came rarely to never. What used to be so comfortable a grin was now so awkward with disuse. "I'm not really that tired anymore," said Remus softly. 

Doran ruffled his hair affectionately. "Well, listen your brother just called saying that he's coming by." Remus' head turned sharply as he looked at his father in surprise. "Aye! Said he'd be here in two day's time – he wanted to see you off to your new school," said the man with a bright smile. It turned out that Remus had a talent for the hated magic that had made him the monster that he was. Long ago, however, he had grasped the fact that it was really no one's fault that he had become what he had.

_Once a man, the wolf finds himself thirsty for mortality…_

Remus chuckled and hugged his father. Just two years back, Emery had graduated from a muggle high school in the city and had won a scholarship program, getting a full ride to college. His departure was a tearful one, but the elder boy had promised to visit as often as possible. "I thought that – well, doesn't he have exams?" wondered little Remus, looking up at his father, a sprinkle of happiness lighting his hazel gaze. 

"Nope, chap said he'd weaseled earlier classes just for you! 'The brother's a tad ill,' Emery told me he said. Worked like a charm." Doran tickled his son's side. "Apparently, they've heard a bunch about you." Remus looked up at his father past long light brown lashes with a smile in his eyes. "He didn't desert you," said his father in a gentle and soft voice, reading his thoughts once again. "He loves you just as much as I do – he'd never desert you." 

At this, Remus lowered his gaze and studied the blades of grass below him. Guiltily, he remembered thinking those same thoughts on his birthday night as he sat in that blasted cell in the basement. His screams had been of anger and betrayal despite the fact that Doran had told him that Emery had been tied down at the university. By the next morning, however, the wolf inside had left Remus bereft of any hatred or anger. 

Nevertheless, Remus said, "I know," and Doran wrapped the boy in a huge bear hug. The quiet tone used was a normal one to the once lively boy and what once used to be a healthy body was a continuously sick one. Gone were the days of easy living and being regular boy – he was now always one of the smallest in his classes and was endlessly picked on because of it. He hated to think what it would be like once he got to Hogwarts where the other students would know of his cursed state. 

Having been to wizarding cities for various potions that would supposedly help ease pain during transformations, Remus knew all too well what wizards and witches thought of werewolves. He had barely been accepted to a magic school at all because of what he was. 

Their comfortable silence was broken when Remus said, "Are we going to Diagon Alley tomorrow?" 

Doran smiled, slowly getting up. "Yes, son, first thing tomorrow. Come on, you need your rest, big day coming up." Remus took the offered hand and stood up and as they walked back home, he took one last look backwards as he left the crimson sun behind him.

~*~

They rose early the next morning and Remus was tense with fluttering nerves. Doran spoke many soothing words to the boy, but they did little to ease the fear welling within the eleven year old child. It wasn't only the fact that Remus was just now going into the magic world for himself rather than for the wolf inside him, but because he was going to be facing the very people who despised what he was. 

With a last shiver, he hopped into the car wearing the strange clothes that his father had told him to put on. The last time they had gone to a magic city was  a few years ago for another go at trying to find a cure or treatment to lycanthropy. After another number of scoffs and looks of amusements, Doran had left that endeavor behind. 

They got out of the car and Remus grasped onto his father's hand like a lifeline as they walked into the muggle city. Soon they'd be arriving at the magic place.

_Perhaps this isn't such a good idea, mumbled remus mentally. He was horribly frightened and he had only just begun to shake. _

Suddenly, Doran stopped. He knelt down and took his son's shoulders underhand. His smile was tender and gentle. "Rem – son, you have nothing to be frightened of," he said softly. "I'll be right here beside you, there's nothing to worry about. These people are strangers – they won't know you're…what you are…unless you tell them. Right now, you don't know them, and they don't know you – you're a stranger – you're just another wizard boy buying supplies for school," said the man with a grin. Remus smiled and nodded wriggling out of his father's hold to hug him tightly. Doran smiled and stood up. He took his son's hand once more and led the way into a bar that the Hogwarts letter said they should go into. Once there, they walked towards the counter and asked for someone to show them into Diagon Alley.

A woman named Elise smiled brightly and said, "Muggles, eh? Non wizard folk?" Doran nodded with a falsely sheepish smile and she just chuckled with a grandmotherly like air. "Not to worry there, little child," she said to Remus with a wink. "You'll be having a blast soon enough when ye get Hogwarts!" And with that she turned and led the way out back. Remus tugged on his father's hand when they stood before a large brick wall and Doran just squeezed his hand in patient reassurance. "Hmm…you just watch here, you two. Little boy there will have to do this on his own next time," she said with a grin and tapped rhythmically on what seemed like random bricks.

When the red blocks began to shift and turn, Remus jumped and Doran hugged him as the boy wrapped his arms around his waist. After what seemed like no time at all, they stared into an alley alive with bustling people in funny clothes just like what Remus and Doran and Elise were wearing. "There ye go, muggles! Have fun in Diagon Alley – wondrous place," said the woman as she retreated back into the bar. 

Doran squeezed Remus' hand once again. "Ready?" he whispered into his ear and the boy nodded. 

In some way, Remus felt like that brave man he had read about in his historical textbooks. What was his name again? – Ah, yes, Neil Armstrong. He took a deep breath and looked at the strange world facing him and as he took a step forward, he felt like that courageous man on the moon.

~*~

**Author's Note: Here you go! What do you think? This is Remus' story and I'm going to have a bunch of fun when he gets to Hogwarts! I just began writing this today and it's short because I wanted to post it really quickly! The next chapters I hope will be longer. Anyway, please tell me what you think!**


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